MakeUpYourMindIt'sHalfPastNine

When we are young, we wish we were older.
when we are older,we wish we were younger.
When it's winter we wish for the heat.
When it's summer we wish for the cold.
When our hair is curly, we wish for it to be straight.
When our hair is straight we wish it to be curly.
When things get tough, we wish for ease and healing.
When we are happy, we find things to be upset about.
Take off, or crash landing?
We are young, we are old, we are cold and we are different.
We are happy and we are upset.
Everyone takes off, and everyone crashes.
We are only human.
But we are who we are.


That was just something that I had off of the top of my head. I realized today that life is good. Sure, there's a lot of bad things in it and all, but life is good. At least I AM alive in the first place. So I want to know how people work sometimes because I'm curious, other times because I want to know how I could take them down. Oh you hurt my feelings? I ruin your life for a while. Just a while. No, that's the old me. But She's starting to come out again. Should I be scared, or have fun with it?


This morning, I woke up several times before five AM with the baby kitty cuddling on my neck and sucking on my ears. It was nice at first. But after an hour, it gets rather old. So I picked him up by one hand and plopped him on the floor, right before Crane's first alarm went off. It was 6:20, I had been awake for an hour and twenty minutes, give or take a few minutes. I finally dragged myself out of bed twenty minutes earlier than I usually do, and proceeded to do my girlish rituals in front of the mirror for a while. Having all of this extra time, I decided to straighten my hair, to which Crane glared at me sinfully. I cocked my head to the side in question. She said that my hair would look better if I had straightened it the night before. Why would I straighten my hair on a night that I didn't have extra time, Crane? She always is the one telling me I'm so obsessed with myself, and that "We aren't going to a fashion show." Even though she is the one obsessed with how she looks and what everyone thinks of her.
Sure, I care what people think of me, but I'm not obsessed with it. Comfort is more important to me than style, most of the time. I wear what I think looks good, and feels good.

Anyway, things haven't been happening too much really, except a few big things. Two of them to be exact. The first thing is much better than the second, but I love all the same! :)

That shall be it for now.

TearsDon'tFall

I should really post on here more often, shouldn't I? Well, interestingly enough, I'm at Sunshine's place. I slept over here, but he isn't here. Hmmmm.... you may be wondering what the hell I'm doing here then. Well, he went to a party. And I decided that I'd be the one to babysit his little brother while his mom went out. Quite honestly the bed felt rather empty all through the night without him. But now his mother is on her way to pick him up. I hope he's ok. I swear to god if he is anything less than ok, I'm going to hurt him. And he won't be the only one I hurt. Trust me.

Anywho, I'm playing a game. It's pretty fun I think.
http://www.yoarcade.net/ability/tetritower_content.html
So yeah, awesome.

I don't know what else to put on here... and my posts usually end in this or a varient of it. XD Love you all :)

Knives&Pens

You sick fuck.
Don't think that at all.
I swear to you I don't mean it, ever.
What does it matter?
You're mine.
Sick fuck.
Oh, and you're home again.
What now?
Don't think that at all.
But, you're still mine.
Restless and solitary,
Misunderstood and heartbroken.
Don't think that at all.

Ok, so that one was just something really random, here's another THINK I don't know what to call it, but yeah, it has a few of the same lines just because it started out as one thing, but I didn't like the subtle transition, so I separated them... Not sure if it's a good idea or not but oh well...



Dead and alive,
Still in ice.
Not frozen in life,
or in death,
But in a quiet scene that never existed.
No dust shall touch your bones,
Until it is your own bones turn to dust.
Ashes to ashes,
We all fall down.
No rush,
Take your time.
You have forever, to lie here cold
In my arms.
I shall not cry,
I'll smile and kiss your rosy lips.
You won't smile back,
I know you mean to.
Not frozen in life,
or in death,
But in my arms, until the sun rises again.
Then I'll have the guts to smile last.
Be patient, my dear.
I'll join you soon.
When the sun rises,
I will conquer every fear,
Push through pain.
And I'll hold your hand,
Because I couldn't.
Dead and alive.


Yeah, so I don't know what all that was, but I really have nothing new to post. Oh, I'm failing two of my classes badly and I'm super stressed out about all my friends and all.... So that's just about all I can say here.

OverMyHead

So I've been quite "down" lately. I don't know why. But I am. And it's stupid. I need to be happy.

I've been feeling artistic. I just had a spanish project that I had to do and I kind of went a little bit nuts on it.
Speaking of nuts, my kitten is getting his chopped off on the 27th. I'm excited to have a calm kitty in the house once again.


I am strong, I am accepting, I am supportive, I am honest. I am me.

I don't know what to put in this blog. I have been very ill the past week or so. Whole nine yards, barfing, coughing, look like shit... all of it. So fun. Now I have a week's worth of school work and tests to make up this week. I'm not happy about it.

On a happy note, I found one of my favourite anklets!!

I got a weird picture message today of an animated Santa fucking some slut-looking chick earlier... from Snowflake. 0.o confused much? "Santa is a man, he shows up late. eats your cookie. empties his sack. he only cums once. calls you a Ho and leaves, while you're asleep." alright, I'll admit that's pretty freakin funny.

I seriously need to be happy. There is so much drama going on in my family and with my "friends", but Wanderer said that he'll record some new songs for me, which will probably make it better. But I'll be fine, I promise. Until next time. <3

HereComesTheSun

Yes, someone's going to laugh. They probably already are. But that's alright. ;)

So, I went to a party on Saturday, I'll write about that in my journal rather than on here because... I don't know. Just because. But all I can say is that it was fun. It was really fun. I got to sleep with Sunshine, which made me very happy. That is all I shall say on this topic. Moving on.

So yesterday, I felt shitty yesterday, I got about three or four hours of sleep on Saturday and I drank so that didn't help at all. Then today I still feel like shit. Food grosses me out, and I honestly cannot believe I ate a piece of gross cafeteria pizza and a little piece of steak tonight without instantly dying.

I feel so beautiful and amazing and I love it. I feel happy and comfortable. And I love it. Let me feel this forever.

My baby fishy is doing great. I love my little fourth of a mexican so much. XD

School is starting to suck. I don't want to do homework anymore, and I don't want to care about getting good grades anymore. It's just getting to the point where whenever I hear the word homework come out of a teacher's mouth I barf a little in my mouth and I momentarily die inside.

But the good news is that it is the last six weeks of the semester, which makes me extremely happy, and sad. Child Development will be taken out of my schedual... And replaced with World History, which will be full of little freshmen begging to annoy the shit out of me. And that's alright I guess, only I'll just end up punching them all. Knock them all out. Painlessly and quickly. Hehe.

So, I really don't know what else to talk about right now. OH Wanderer called me today, and I got to reconnect with him a little bit, which I think is important. My true friends are important to me. <3 Ok, now I'll go. I love life. ^_^

NoVacancy

So, when is the last time that I blogged? I don't know.

I am really bored, and again the only reason I'm blogging right now is because Sunshine reminded me to.

Speaking of him, we are having fun with our relationship here. :P That face is all that is needed here at this moment. Long weekends and short nights...
No nothing too serious is happening yet.

So, my mother told me earlier tonight that I could go to a party. A party in which I'd have to stay the night. This is my first actual party... And MY parents are letting me stay the night?! Wow... alright big shocker give me a chill pill here.
AND SUNSHINE WILL BE THERE. XD alright. Done now.

So, classes are going good. A lot of projects and associated homework, but that is to be expected.

Finn's parents piss me off. They take away all his things. HIS things. Oh and you know he's over 18? Yeah, wow. Alright, get a job, I love ya, GET A JOB.

Protector is so confusing. One day he hates me and "wants me to be happy with him", and the next day he loves me and "is scared he's losing me forever". -.-' uhm, yeah. You confuse the hell out of me, and none of your logic for doing so makes any sense. Just because we aren't dating doesn't mean we shouldn't be just friends. You're a cool guy and a good friend. Be one.

Bite. Ok done, really... I promise.

So, Crane is SO dramatic. She just cannot seem to make sense of anything, and she always acts like I'm retarded. No matter what we are talking about. But this is the Crane in public. At home, when no one is around, she is usually really sweet and happy. But the MOMENT we step off of that bus, she is a complete bitch to me. It's quite embarassing seeing a girl so mature when she is herself turn into a typical freshman girl drooling over every other guy that walks by.

So mother said that if I wanted to get on the depo shot then I could. Now, I don't know if I want to. She said it's cheaper than having a baby, but I really don't want to stress Eagle out. He gets stressed so easily. But, I only have to get one four times a year, and if I do get it, it doesn't mean I HAVE to have sex. Just in case I do. Or if I am sexually active. BUUUUUUT I feel like if I get too much into this topic, then I'll start telling you all about mine and Sunshine's magical expieriences.... XD So I'm going to go now before I get carried away.....

<3

BeLikeThat

Hey blog guess what? It's my birthday. :)

So today I got a new iPod. It's one of those cool little nanos with a touch screen. It's so adorable. Sunshine got me some fishies, the idiot one already died though, he was an idiot. Oh well.
I also bought myself new headphones. They are sweet. Uhmmmmm I got to skip school today because I can. Sunshine skipped school too. My mom and I picked him up around 2 and he stayed until like 8. It made me happy. He's so amazing :) HE MADE ME BROWNIES <3
Ok, random freak out about Sunshine... done.

I really don't have a lot to say here.... I ate so much today. I've probably gained 10 pounds today alone.

I don't know what to do here. Hmm... I think I'll just... go. :)