SweetDreams

Well, SOMEONE hasn't been reminding dear old me to write. But one of my friends that reads reminded me over Christmas. :) Thank you, by the way.

I've been thinking a lot this break. Probably because of my lack of activities and my illnesses keeping me quarantined in my house. Just a guess. But I've been thinking about everything really. Who I am, what I want, where I want to go, what I want to be... What I'm GOING to be. You know, there's one answer that comes up into my mind when I ask myself all of these questions. "I don't know." My father says I'm not motivated, I am...I just don't know what to do. I would do something if I knew what to do. He starts asking me things like, "Well, what do you enjoy doing? What do you find pleasure doing?" My answer? I would say sex and drinking. But no, those aren't motivational at all. So I just say, "I don't know." What kind of career could I pursue besides a porn star and a wine critic? Gosh, I just don't know.

Wow, it's after 2am. Didn't know that. I have to wake up before one in the afternoon tomorrow because Sunshine's coming. Yay! I haven't seen him in over a week. I haven't wanted to get him sick. And I'm a mess. My hair looks like it did when I woke up, no makeup, ripped up jammies. You think I'm SOOO beautiful don't you? Yeah, he does. And it's genuine admiration, too. Not like he's trying to make me feel pretty. But almost as if... I really am beautiful.

I remember... I know I go on so much about Home and all... But I just can't stop. Like these memories and people won't stop knocking around inside my skull. Come on, it was almost two years ago. NO. If anyone takes anything from me, don't take that year. I learned so much, and experienced so much in that short amount of time.

Well, I really should go to sleep.... It's late...er... early. I don't know. Goodnight...er...morning...er... SEE YA! :)

NewPerspective

So, again, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I either forget to, or don't have time to...most of the time it's the first one.

So I haven't been allowed at Sunshine's place for a while, won't talk too much about that, it's a long and complicated story. But basically Swan overreacted because I overreacted, and the end result just... wasn't good. But on Saturday, I was allowed to go over there, and I was happy. I missed having one on one time with him. He's a sweetheart, as usual, giving me everything I want (well everything he CAN give me XD).

California has news. She's gone lesbian. Not sure how to take this, so I'll just support her through it. Her and Magic broke up for good now, I think. Now that she's lesbian, she won't be going back to him, which honestly makes me relieved. He didn't deserve her, he was way too confusing. And he well... lives in another continent on the other side of the earth and all...

So this week is finals week, and then we have Christmas Break for two weeks!!! YAY!!! But not yay for finals week. Tomorrow I have two finals, one of which I'm sure I won't do well on: the easy one is English, the hard one is Algebra II. Fun fun fun....

I haven't been writing too much in my journal for Creative Writing lately. Not sure why. But I wrote a few things in there today. I wrote a short story based on a dream I had. I wrote a list of 30 Things California would never do. I then wrote a story about a girl who doesn't drink sitting in a bar, when a drunk man sits next to her and insists on telling her about "The Truth," and the other one was just random lines from songs I was listening to, and it again turned out well.

I'm excited to get my guitar for Christmas... teehee :)

Uhmmm... I think that is it for now. I'll TRY to post again soon. <3