SweetDreams

Well, SOMEONE hasn't been reminding dear old me to write. But one of my friends that reads reminded me over Christmas. :) Thank you, by the way.

I've been thinking a lot this break. Probably because of my lack of activities and my illnesses keeping me quarantined in my house. Just a guess. But I've been thinking about everything really. Who I am, what I want, where I want to go, what I want to be... What I'm GOING to be. You know, there's one answer that comes up into my mind when I ask myself all of these questions. "I don't know." My father says I'm not motivated, I am...I just don't know what to do. I would do something if I knew what to do. He starts asking me things like, "Well, what do you enjoy doing? What do you find pleasure doing?" My answer? I would say sex and drinking. But no, those aren't motivational at all. So I just say, "I don't know." What kind of career could I pursue besides a porn star and a wine critic? Gosh, I just don't know.

Wow, it's after 2am. Didn't know that. I have to wake up before one in the afternoon tomorrow because Sunshine's coming. Yay! I haven't seen him in over a week. I haven't wanted to get him sick. And I'm a mess. My hair looks like it did when I woke up, no makeup, ripped up jammies. You think I'm SOOO beautiful don't you? Yeah, he does. And it's genuine admiration, too. Not like he's trying to make me feel pretty. But almost as if... I really am beautiful.

I remember... I know I go on so much about Home and all... But I just can't stop. Like these memories and people won't stop knocking around inside my skull. Come on, it was almost two years ago. NO. If anyone takes anything from me, don't take that year. I learned so much, and experienced so much in that short amount of time.

Well, I really should go to sleep.... It's late...er... early. I don't know. Goodnight...er...morning...er... SEE YA! :)