ThePromise

We all know what I'm going to say, so I won't say it. I'm just going to jump right into things.

I recently celebrated my 7 month mark with Sunshine. I hope it lasts forever.

There has been quite a bit of drama, originating from my end. I overreact a lot and dismiss things I do that I know can't be right. But I'm working on it. I promised I'd try, and I am trying. It's hard though. To change how I've always,always been around people. You know how that can be? I figured you would...cuz...you're a blog. :P

Now I'm going to get into my creative writing portion. Just letting you know, most of this isn't creative at all. We've had these study halls in school every day and I have nothing better to do so I write. I've written several pages, so this might be a long one. Oh well. :)
Once again, if one of you feels like you MAY be offended in any way by reading these, just don't read them because I'm not sensoring myself for your selfish comfort. K?



Monday, April 11. 1:43pm
"Things About Friends"

Do you know what it feels like, not having anyone? You take your friends for granted, you aren't eternally grateful every time you call your friend, tell her all your troubles and worries. You go to the mall with her, watch movies with her, gossip, cry, sleep over, share secrets.
I love him and I'll always go to him with anything, but no one seems to understand that I need girl friends. Paint nails and have little inside jokes. Things that girlfriends do.


Same day, only a few minutes later
"Things About Boyfriends"

I've gone years through trial, error, together to broken up. My heart has been broken, I learned sometimes, and sometimes I didn't learn so quickly. I learned of all the people I could be molded into. I replaced their mom, their ex, their sister, their best friend. I could be dark and quiet, bright and loud, mysterious, trustworthy, happy, sad, sexual, not sexual, needy, independent, blind and oblivious, risky and random, cautious and observant. All of those are who I am, but none of them are singularly "me".
Plenty of times I was literally left "broken up" inside and out. I'd be lost and empty, no longer knowing who I was at all.
His fantasy of a relationship was now my nightmare. Without him, there was no more clay to mold me with, no one to mold me...leaving me empty. Those in my family and my best friends who knew me so well for who I was had to piece me together. Over a period of time, I'd be me again. But of all the little pieces, some were never found.
My lesson is to be with someone who loves you for who you really are, not who they want you to be, or who you're "replacing" in their life. It took me this long to find that person for me, who really loves me. Don't five up, you'll find yours someday. :)


Same day, a little while after
"Things About Family"

How many people can you say have a perfect family? 2 kids, never divorced parents, a nice house, solid income, good health? I've learned many things are broken and fixed, but never all the way fixed. Young parents with two toddlers divorce, both parents remarry, the two families silently fight for the two little girls, who now have two new half siblings. Both families move far way from the other, and fall to the economy.
Both families are broken, and fixed by their new "family". The two girls will forever live in confusion and conflict with who they are, while their father never calls or cares, forever.
Nothing is perfect, never expect it to be. You'll just be disappointed.


Same day, a little while later
"Things About School"

I've been to a number of schools in my life, some better than others, some experiences more memorable. The things we always remember are not the things we learn from teachers: the state capitals on the map, the equation for rational exponents or whatever, or what the teaching of "Of Mice And Men" is. We remember things from our friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, fun times outside the classroom are the things we really learn from. What do elementary kids look forward to? Recess three times a day! Middleschoolers look forward to lunch and art class, highschoolers look forward to lunch, study hall, and the weekend. The most valuable life lessons aren't always in a classroom.


April 12, 2011. 1:43pm
"Things About Death"

I'll keep this one pretty short. Everybody dies. Everything dies. Nothing lasts forever, don't expect it to. Death is a part of life that everyone will go through.


Same day, a few minutes later.
"Things About Mistakes"

Mistakes happen all the time. Don't beat yourself up over it. Accept what's happened and move on.


Same day, a few minutes later.

Don't you ever get sick of being admired,
Maybe you'll just get fired.
Don't have to worry about that anymore.
Just go ahead and walk out that door.
Do it like your father did when you were five.
Turn your family to an angry bee hive.
You say your heart is healing,
but what are you really feeling?


April 13, 2011. 1:56pm.

Some things that happen to people...No one deserves it. No one. I mean what could someone possibly do to deserve all that? It's like things were bad enough, it isn't fair. I know people will say "Life isn't fair". I'll give them a high five and say, "Hell yeah, that's true."


Same day.

My justice wasn't done
All I knew how to do was run.
It's what I've done all my life.
All I need is to remove that knife.
The one he put in me all those years ago.
Who he is I don't even know.
My justice will never be done. Rising soon on your story will be the sun.
I'll help and be here for you.
Until my heart is black and blue.
You will not be alone,
Justice will be served.


April 14,2011. 1:43pm
"B"

Beautiful is
Believing in who you are.
Being something you aren't can end
Badly.
Bleed out my heart for you, I hope you feel
Better now that you can
Breathe without feeling suffocated, your face isn't so
Blue and you can have the courage to give his
Bullets
Back.
Bring your hope, love, and happiness. Leave your
Black roses crying.
Be strong, you can do this, you're so
Bright.
Busy is as busy does, so you must learn to
Balance aspects of your life. Your
Baby is all grown up.


Same day, a few minutes later.
"S"

Show me your
Secrets, don't be afraid. Never
Sacrifice what is rightfully yours. Always be
Sure of who you are, only you can know your
Story by heart. I know things can seem
So certain and laid out.
She is love, threw away her mistakes to the
Streets, they joined her
Sorrows. She has the power to finally
Stand up for who she is.







So yeah, that's about it. I wrote some amazing place poems today, I'll be sure to get those up here asap! :)

Loves <3