FixYou

Oh I really should keep up with this more. If it weren't for Sunshine telling me to update it, I probably would have forgotten all about it.

Well, today I met Sunshine's brother. That was fun. He's really cool, he's real and I really admire that. Some people seem fake, covered up.

As the winter season approaches, I feel like I'm changing. I don't know exactly how, but I feel like I'm changing. And it's kind of scary, honestly.

So I hate it when people think I must be like everyone else. I'm not just some girl, I'm not just another person. I hate it when people treat me like I am. And I hate it when I see other people treating others like that. It makes me want to do something, but I don't know what.

So Turtle is still antagonizing these innocent girls. I asked Finn the other night, if he could kill someone and not be in trouble for it, would he. He said no, and I said no too. But I've been thinking. And I do have to say I probably would kill someone. I'd kill Daiquiri and Turtle, probably without hesitation or second thought. She ruined my life, and there is no other way to stop Turtle without making his life miserable, so why not end it altogether?

I need to stop feeling empty and alone. Because I'm not at all. Wanderer keeps.... wandering. Protector keeps... changing. Dolphin keeps... abandoning me. But hey right now it seems like all I have is Sunshine, and that's ok, I don't mind. But I'm not going to depend on another human being for happiness. Well I'll really try not to.

So, if someone wanted to destroy me, how would they go about doing that? I was just wondering, and I want some answers. I don't know who would be cruel enough to destroy me, but I want to know how they'd do it. I mean, knowing myself so well, I have a few ideas on how one could destroy me, but all of them involve knowing me fairly well. I know that if I were to destroy someone and I had to get to know them very well, I would become attached to them and not be able to do it.



The crisp morning air was just settling in the dark of 4AM. The mountains glittered in the moonlight with snow. Everything was still, holding it's breath. Trees resisted to shiver. I opened the front door to the napping house quietly, slowly, as not to wake anything. Including myself. My wavy hair pulled away from the wind's cold, soft whispers. The streetlamps gave the street halos of light. In the silent sound, there was no one but me. I rested my hand on the wall outside for support, and shut the door, quietly, slowly. The stars twinkled their delight, greeting me. I smiled back at them. My bare toes brushed the perfect, newborn snow. Yes, it was cold. Freezing. But I loved it. I let my feet drag as I walked effortlessly into the bare yard. I shut my eyes and my eyelashes brushed my smiling cheekbones. I let my knees fall into the sparkling snow. It embraced me and made me whole. I kept smiling, knowing none of this was real. I dropped my hands into the cold and splashed it onto my face. I breathed in deep and looked back to the stars for encouragement. They twinkled again in laughter. An orange yellow light creeped over the mountains' bases and tickled the dead fields of wheat. I curled my whole body into the freezing liquid-solid perfection. The trees above me began to shiver, knowing it was time to wake up. The stars shone a final goodbye. The ground fell in on itself, hiding from this strange light that signaled day. It was time to wake up, but I didn't want to.

Well, I just wrote that right now, I don't know what it was, but... yeah. :P Bye!