CrashAndBurn

I didn't mean that. I do love you Daddy. You just pissed me off. I'm sorry. I love you.

My parents went out today for almost seven hours. I watched the little ones, plus Sunshine's little brother. He is an angel, so he wasn't a problem at all. We just did a lot, and I've been running on 5 hours of sleep, give or take. We went swimming and I carried a big swimming bag all the way there, UGH. I'm so tired.
I ordered dinners, I made snacks, I packed waterbottles, I sunscreened them, made more snacks, walked to the pool three quarters of a mile away in the 100 degree heat...Ok I think you understand that I'm tired. And taking care of three kids is a lot of work. Let this be a reminder to me, I'M ONLY HAVING TWO KIDS WHEN I GET OLDER. :) And after that I cleaned the whole house, dishes, counters, floors, the living room, the kids' rooms, bleahhhhh....

So by the end of the night all I want to do is rest.

Mother runs in, obviously drunk, stumbling saying she needs to pee. She stumbles into her room and I don't see her again. Dad greets me with a box of some delicious veggie pizza, so I'm happy. I sit down and begin munching on the wood-fired pizza. I can taste the flames in the dough, it's amazing. Dad goes off at me when I ask him what they did, where they went. He told me who I was, what I liked, and what I did not like. It pissed me off. I finally just stormed away knowing my cause was pointless, and he shouted after me "Ok, that's fine. I love you, I love you!!" And I said I didn't. So now I feel bad, I was just pissed off I shouldn't have said that.

Oh well, no one will remember anything tomorrow.

There are random cuts on my legs and I didn't really notice them at all until they started hurting in the pool. Ouch.

In other words, I've been reconnecting with Snowflake lately. I love her so much! I don't think she knows how much I care about her, but I'd literally do anything for her. She's such an amazing person.

I'm going to my biological father's in July. I'm excited for a few reasons:
The clean air,
The plane ride,
The airports (I LOVE AIRPORTS),
Seeing all the stars,
The animals,
Spending quality time with my sister,
Seeing my grandmother,
The small moments I'll see my biological dad... I guess...


I don't really have much else to say except I'm just done with the way things are going here with my family. Especially my mom. I guess I'm just mad because I love her and I care about her and she is doing all this bullshit stuff that she JUST DOESN'T NEED. Whatever, I'm done. Loves.