YourArmsFeelLikeHome

I'm gonna find something, hang on.

Found it. Mind you, I wrote this A LONG TIME AGO. Like three or four years ago. I have no idea what it was about.
Here goes.



"Last Chance Love"

The tears won't stop falling,
The tears that are for you.
And now I'm on my hands and knees, crawling helplessly for my life.
Where are you?
You are not here to save me this time,
I think as darkness surrounds me.
For a moment I wonder if you will show up as a bright light to scare the darkness away.
Then I know you won't.
But what I don't know is you are there.
On the other side,
Waiting for me.
I don't want to give up.
I long to feel your heartbeat on my fingertips again.
To interlace my fingers with yours.
Look into those shadowy blue eyes and feel the love radiating from you in waves.
Be with you forever.
I know its not going to happen,
But in my heart I wish it with all my strength left in me.
And then I'm surrounded by the dark.
My breaths are cold and shallow.
I feel familiar fingertips brush my cheek.
Ever so lightly.
I struggle to see your face.
No matter how many times I blink or grasp the empty air,
You are not there.
And yet I feel your cold hands on my face.
A tear rolls down my face and your fingers catch it.
This is the saddest I have ever been in my life.
You are right there.
So close.
And at the same time you're not.
I would give anything just to see you one last time.
I think this over and over.
Praying that somehow the darkness will leave and you will stay.
You promised me you would always be with me in my heart.
But I never knew it could be this painful.

(PT. II)

The darkness is sucked away slowly.
Your hands seem to try and grasp for me.
I can't move.
I can't speak.
I don't want what is left of you to leave.
Even if it hurts so bad I could die.
With all of my power I reach blindly for you.
Our fingertips touch one last time and in a flash,
Everything is one.
I'm left alone and helpless.
My heart starts pumping its slow, empty rhythm again.
You are gone again.
Just like that.
And the tears begin to stream again.
Every one for you.
I'm back to where I started.
Thinking of nothing but you.
Soon I wipe the last of the tears away and run my fingers through my hair.
I lift up my sleeve and inhale your quickly-fading scent.
I straighten myself up once again to pretend nothing is wrong,
When all I want is to know your heart still beats to the sound of rain.
I regretfully push the thoughts of you to the back of my mind.
Safely hidden from others,
And myself.
I keep telling myself I'm over you and to move on.
I can't.
You were taken away from me so violently fast that I didn't have a chance to get my heart back.
I don't want it back.
It's yours.
So I take one step in front of the other and try to convince my heart and my mind that you will come back to me or leave me forever.
One step in front of the other.




Ok, that was it. I wrote that in early 2009. Think it's pretty good for a freshman?
Me too.
Man, I was really fucking depressed.
HAHA I think I'm funny.

I had a massive headache today, but then it went away...

I'm in a really good mood. Like a REALLY good mood. I feel playful and hyper, and I wish Sunshine was with me right now... I miss him so much, he's gone with his FRIENDS. Has been since Tuesday. Lame jealousy! :)

So, I'm over-eating and not doing enough excersize. I didn't even go to the pool today, so I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I'm going to start running. My goal as of now is to run a mile nonstop in less than 10 minutes. Don't laugh at my un-fit-ness. It's not nice to laugh XD

Well since this post is long enough as it is, I guess I'll just stop it here. I feel like I need to say a whole lot more, but I don't know of what....

OH WELL!! :D

Loves <3