For once in my life, I feel like I have a good idea, a realistic idea of what I'm going to do with my life. Then, of course, things have to bombard in on me and make my plans freak out and swim upsidedown in circles.
I'm lost, I'm confused. My tummy is starting to hurt and I just don't want to figure anything out anymore.
I'll try not to be such a negative girl though.
Things with Protector and I seemed to be getting fixed. But now, I don't know. I might not ever hear from him again and I don't think I can handle that. See now I'm being negative again.
I don't know what else to do though! I just wish it was easy. Love should be easy. And it was for a while. But now things are complicated. When substance abuse and life's dreams come into play, it just seems like he can't handle it. And I really really wish it would work. I love him so much.
I'm just lost, I guess.
I'll just listen to my Blue October to calm me. Make me sane again. Time heals all wounds... until they are re opened.
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