TrippedAndFellInPortland

So, I realize I have not been exactly open as I should be to you. And I am sorry for that. I can't say I'm happy school is back or that I am sad, but I'm pretty sure I've been over this.
Sometimes I don't understand why I can't just CONTROL MYSELF. Why can't I just be happy with one guy these days...? Is this what happens to a broken heart??? (cough cough.. Bird...)

Dolphin and I are very close, since Wanderer and Protector seem to have pretty much abandoned me. I have a feeling Dolphin won't abandon me. At least I hope he won't. He says he won't. I just want to be loved for ME. I want an honest, clean, pure relationship. I don't want past secrets and heartbreaks to haunt our present conditions. I just want a clean slate. Someone I can trust to not hurt me like the others have.
I know what they all say: I won't do it again, I promise you. I wouldn't do that to you again.
But I've been lied to so many times by so many people who I swore wouldn't lie to me, I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Can you tell I'm lost?

I did something very.... evil (?) last night....
Well not really. They agreed to do it. I won't go into too many details, but I must say I was quite surprised they did it and I honestly don't think I'll look at either of them the same ever again....
;)

So I watched a movie, called CityIsland. It was a good movie. It has kind of a slow start, but it sped up very quickly. It's one of those movies that have little things throughout the movie that connect together. Small things, but they all turn into a huge deal. Make sense?

I'm reading a book called The Art of Racing in the Rain. It's a wonderful book about a dog and his master, told from the dog's point of view. It says something on the cover along the lines of the dog teaching humanity how to behave. It's really a great book, and I'm only on page 50.

Jazzy, one of my ex's and Dolphin's friend, was showing me odd videos on youtube the other day. I got rather addicted to them and I spent about two hours purely watching them. Here were a few of my favourites though.

(DISCLAIMER: If you get grossed out easily, are mentally insane, have some kind of fear of creepy, or weird things, please don't watch these. I'm serious.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23YI1bWAuMY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idCFV0KF4uo&feature=PlayList&p=25D6E312FB66428C&index=0&playnext=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPSRVbTcLwE&p=25D6E312FB66428C&index=6

Ok, this last one is my absolute favourite, it has been for a while. It's not one that Dolphin or Jazzy showed me. I've known of this one for a while now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjBDfZZQz54