NailPolish

I painted my nails earlier today. Black.
I never really noticed how badly Parakeet and Pigeon want to be like me. And be liked by me.
Parakeet wanted her nails painted black too, but I told her black was only for older people so she settled for orange instead. She was disappointed though.
Pigeon always wants to talk to Kenai because he thinks he's really cool. Kenai, not being the most gentle of all guys, is amazed at how sweet Pigeon is. So Kenai likes Pigeon too. They talk a lot and I think that one day Kenai will make a great dad.
Protector is getting a job at the Co-Op. I'm so proud of him.
Bird and I had a fight last night. Magic and him are really close friends, and Magic thinks I waste my time trying to get to Bird's heart. Bird apparently only likes whores and refuses to let anyone into his real romantic life at all, according to Magic. Of course, I know this isn't true. It seems like every time Bird and I get somewhere Magic calls me a moron and demands me to give up.
I refuse to give up, because I KNOW there's something more to Bird than others say there is.
Of course, this had to lead into a situation where California was involved and it just got all tangly and messy. Magic was just trying to help. California broke up with him because Magic kept begging sexual enslavement with me and I refused, making a joke that if I wasn't happy then Magic would have to be my slave. I thought he knew I was joking. Because, really, I wouldn't even consider doing that kind of thing with him at all. Gross.
Obviously, though, Magic had to take me seriously...

I regret letting some people fall out of my life. I want to heal these separations. I'm trying.

You know when you tell someone you love them, and they just don't love you back? I know how that feels now, and I feel really bad about doing that to some of the people I know.

I go through these musical phases, and right now I'm in a Fall Out Boy/ Blue October/ Kate Nash phase. My last phase was a Breathe Carolina/ My Chemical Romance/ Linkin Park phase. Interesting.

I find myself staying up all night until four AM. This period of missing Home hasn't passed in over three months now. Right now, I mostly miss the Home that is taken up by people. I'm trying to convince them all to move here. I think it's working :) Kind of...

I love dreaming because I can be with them, and I can do whatever I want. I can fly, I can transform, I can hold his hand... Everything can be alright. Sometimes I wish I didn't wake up. I've been having the most vivid dreams lately. I mean, I can always feel and feel pain, etc., but it's all colorful and amazingly real. Occasionally I'll wake up in the middle of the night expecting him to be there. Crazy.

Princess Crazy. :) I like that.