Ok, sometimes in my life I feel like everything's going right and nothing can go wrong. Then it's like my life decides to dump a bunch of shit on me and blame it all on me.
Protector and I got into a fight the other day. It was horrible and I feel really terrible about it. I just wish I could be there and we could be together and it would all be fixed, I know it. I love him so much, I honestly can't imagine my life without him at all. Is that pathetic?
It seems that everyone just decides to pile all their problems on me along with my problems it is sometimes just too much. Yeah, I can deal, but barely.
Did I already say I feel really bad about what happened with Protector? I love him so much, I think I'm going insane.
I talked to Finn a lot last night. Sometimes he kind of serves as the person I tell everything to. And usually I don't have to worry about what he'll think. He's a pretty nonjudgmental person.
I know what it feels like to have voices in your head. Annoying, scary. Yeah, I get it.
It feels like I'm slowly losing everyone. They all say I act different. Weird. Mean. Stuck up. I don't know anymore. I'm just confused and lost. I'm glad I have someone to rant and rave to at my worst.
Sometimes it feels like all I do is screw up. I get something right for a change and then in a matter of moments it's all messed up.
I love life, I really do. But right now, it honestly doesn't seem like anything's going my way. I tried so hard to get him back. There's only so long I can wait. I won't give up, because that's not like me to just give up. I love him to death and I won't give up. I promised him and I promised myself a long time ago and even when I try to break that promise, it won't break at all.
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